The mind told me not to write a post this evening but the heart knows it makes me feel good to share my thoughts. So I sit here in the sofa with my cup of cinnamon tea and just let the fingers write about any subjects eager to get out in text, as usual.
Today I’m in to self pity, I woke up with a sore throat and a headache which has been my companions for all day now.
It’s been a shaky week since I last posted, with a lot of feelings and emotions going up and down. I got the message that a dear friend of mine suddenly passed away, which caused me to think of what I am doing with my own life, it is a precious thing.
The trip this weekend back to the places where I spent much time in my childhood and have called home for many years made me realize that both places and people changes, and in my innocence this have never crossed my mind. I mean these places could never stop being “home”. Not for a single moment I believed this could happen, but as I walked the streets it struck me as a bullet. This place mean nothing to me anymore, it has nothing but memories of the past to offer.
This place were important to me in the past and the memories will always be in close reach. I think what I’m trying to explain is that I have changed way more than I even knew myself for the last year.
This is a new thing to me, I have kept the belief that some people and places never change, and if everything in the world goes wrong then this is the place for me to hide and seek comfort. It was a bit of a chock when the falsehood of this belief tumbled down and hit me in the head. It’s a good thing though, it’s time to let the past go and to live with less baggage, to travel light.
The lesson to be learned I think, is to never take people for granted and know when to let go of both people and places.
Of course I keep some of these people from the past that I now bid farewell, in my life and give them new roles to play and to have smaller or bigger parts of my heart to keep. And if there is people who still want to be a part of my life it’s partly up to them. I have found the key to self respect and self love and I will keep to my mission, always to do what gives me and my family the most joy out of life and I wish to have that kind of energy in my friendships and relationships with relatives as well.
Life is to short to be lived with second thoughts, or in relations that don’t bring happiness and joy. The tears are only an extension of the laughter and vice versa. Sadly one of my favorite human beings with that kind of energy that could light up a room, were in a hurry to get out of here too early. I will always love you my friend and your place in my heart isn’t vacant.
I would like to recommend a book, a “must read” if you think life is a lesson to be learned. I got this from a new friend that I met on the internet, that has come to mean a lot to me. Thank you Laura, I’m sure angels comes in many shapes.
I’ve only read till chapter four and I have smiled through tears already, it’s amazing and gives you some insights about the most important person in your life, you. Read it, and if you can’t get a copy of it get back to me and I’ll help you.
The gateways to wisdom and knowledge are always open
-Louise L Hay