Self destruction and healing

Did you know that 95% of the decisions we take on a daily basis are ruled by the unconscious mind, aka the part of the mind that holds all the beliefs, safety thinking and habits?

This means that only 5% of the decisions are made out of curiosity, openness and new thinking.

I think this is scary, because it makes all of us kind of close minded. Don’t you think?

I am into self destruction right now, I don’t exercise, I overeat and I start to think of all the “wrong” decisions that’s got me at this point.

If I resonate with my subconscious mind and look at all the fears I recognize old patterns, when things get tough in my life or I get into the fields of the unknown and uncertainties I punish myself by eating too much and things that makes me ill in the long run, and I stop practicing yoga wich is helping me stay sharp and balanced.

I escape from my own feelings and by letting the safety systems kick in I find myself inside the comfort zone again..

Why this time?

We are stuck in the marina for the past 1,5 months due to a engine change and the following unlikely issues with that. This has caused us to lift the boat and take the propeller down.

Living on a boat in the water is a piece of cake contrary on land, especially with a toddler. So we have been trusted with some great family members who have offered us sleeping places. I am overwhelmed and so happy and thankful for the generosity of these people.

It’s hard to live like this, especially when we had the plan for this summer to be independent and sail around in Vänern to look around here before we leave for opeb waters.

So what is different this time from the past? I have a more open mind, I see the patterns and the old habits. I may not deal with it yet but I see it and I will be working on it from now on. This will make me use lesser of my subconscious mind and more of my conscious mind, I think.

Here’s a link to a great article about the topic.

I am convinced that I will work on this and become more and more aware of my own issues and obstacles that i put in my way. From now on I will deal with the uncomfortable feelings and negative thoughts.

Hope you enjoyed, and I promise to be back soon to post something new. And remember…

You become what you think of the most



You see things the way you are 

“I can’t take more of this… , it’s way to hard… , nothing good ever comes in to my life… , why do all bad things happen to me…? Is this way to think something you recognize? 
No judgment, all those thoughts is from my own experience, they sneak up on me whenever I’m not conscious, tiered or just a bit out of balance in my life. 

I reckoned that I have been in a down pit for some days oe maybe weeks now, when all the bad things happens to me and the perspective are more at the negative point of view. I’m thankful that I eventually see it in my own behavior, and that the minute I see it I have the choice to change my way of looking at things and restart making things happen for me. Everyone can make a change in the way we think, every minute of every day. 

This time when I take a look at the situation I can see it clear what has made me think like this. Stress, immediately when I get in to a situation where I don’t feel comfortable it strikes. I become unaware and start to listen to all the made up stories my mind make up to prevent me from go astray and change a winning concept. For God’s sake, a new situation can bring life-threatening things into my life, right? No, it’s not that likely to happen. I read some place that 85% of all the catastrophic thoughts we thing never happens…

15% isn’t that much so it may be worth the try… 

I know how I work, yet sometimes it just happens. The times are fewer now a days but they occur. Practice is the key. 

Today was a special day, we locked the door to the apartment for the last time and the keys were handed over to the landlord. For me it feels like such a relief, the time spent on going back and forth between the boat and the apartment are finally over. For the last week I’ve been annoyed and irritated over the, seemingly endless situation. I haven’t been a very fun person I can tell you that. 

No one looks good in a “self pity sweater” if you ask me.. 

So now what… We await some new installment of solar panels and a toilet before we can head out on our beloved lake Vänern and our summer adventure. A good opportunity to practice patience, awareness and love for life in all it’s shades, in other words we will bee at the marina for a little more time.  

I choose to se things through a different lens.. Life brings joy to me in some way everyday… , I’m given challenges that are exactly what I can handle, not less and not more… , what is this situation teaching me?… Etcetera. 

Life becomes so much richer and loving when we are feeling rich and loving, like attract alike as the univeral law tells. 

So I will remind me that I see things the way I am, not as they are necessary.

Bless you with awareness for this week! 


Embracing the change and joyful hearts  

Soo, we’re in the water, the rigging is on the boat and all our belongings, what’s left of it, is soon in place. Time’s ticking and we are about to leave the keys and the apartment in just 15 days.. Hopefully sooner. 

Last week I wrote about the feeling of holding on to material matters and fear of the new. Now I feel relieved as I knew i would, a bit stressed about all the things we haven’t got sold or picked up of their new owners, but nothing major. 

We just state that we need to take a second turn in the clearance, we still have too much things and we don’t want to overload the boat. She need to be able to perform well at sails. 

This time it feels different, I don’t feel the same resistance as the first round. We continue to change, even if we don’t recognize it because the changes are small, one day it hits us how diffrent we responds to things which we before thought was hard or maybe impossible. 

That is a significant attribute of being human, and the statement that “the only thing constant is change”. In my own life, I can see the difference between the heights and the lows, it’s how embracing of the changes I am. 

In times of lower energies I know that I find it hard to cope with change and resist it with all of my being. In times when I am in the higher energetic fields I feel the flow and can see the big picture and I welcome the new with arms wide open.  Can this be a key to happiness?  

I think so, in the higher vibrations we are open to the universe and it laws to work through us and the constant change will be a receipt that we are exactly where we’re supposed to. 

This leads me to the quote about comparison, no one in the whole wide world have the same life purpose as another, as much as this western society tells us to fit in and be a like we are unique and non is either superior or inferior. We are here to fulfill our own and unique missions and this puts us up to the test.

 A test of how true we dare to be to ourselves and our hearts. We can’t listen to others in this case, we need to listen to our heart. 

I know this is hard and I can sign the paperwork of the challenges it takes to be comfortable with this actions, but what options do we have? I ask myself, often, what are the options? And I find it clear. There isn’t any other good options for me. Because I know, not making a choice is also a choice, but I’m not that kind of person that let life happen to me.. 

I choose to feel alive and to push the edges of “normal” further and beyond, to make life happen for me. I’m nothing like “normal”, and today I’m thankful for my rebellious heart and where it has got me. 

There is no other way for me to live, maybe I never settle down or maybe I find my special place somwhere far, far away from Sweden or I need travel the world to find out it’s right here I belong, who knows. I have decided to go find out.

Live life fully, live life everyday. Make your heart sing with joy!